


A Group Of Star Wars Group Chats

by Clone_of_Baby_Yoda, Commander_5279_Morai



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: 501st inherit their craziness from their general & commander, Anakin's terrible at answering calls on time, Disaster Lineage, Gen, Jedi Friendly, Mando'a Language (Star Wars), Poor Cody, Random fake facts about some characters, Short Ponds, Swearing yoda, group chats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:00:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27132157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clone_of_Baby_Yoda/pseuds/Clone_of_Baby_Yoda, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Commander_5279_Morai/pseuds/Commander_5279_Morai
Summary: Random Star Wars group chats we just wrote.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CT-21-0408 | Echo & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, CT-5597 | Jesse & CT-6116 | Kix, Dooku | Darth Tyranus & Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Plo Koon & CC-3636 | Wolffe
Comments: 12
Kudos: 110





	1. Surprises & Grumbles

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Yet Another Star Wars Group Chat Fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26002792) by [TallNegotiations (RedSoleWrites)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedSoleWrites/pseuds/TallNegotiations). 



**[Yoda has created a new chat!]**

**[Yoda has added Yan Dooku, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano to the chat]**

**[Yoda has named the chat "Lineage Chat"]**

Anakin Skywalker: Umm, what is this?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Anakin, I advise that you look at the title.

Yoda: A lineage chat, this is.

Ahsoka Tano: I didn’t know Dooku is part of our lineage!

Anakin Skywalker: Neither did I Snips. Obi-Wan did you know about this?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Unfortunately, yes.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: He is my Grandmaster after all.

Yoda: Right Master Kenobi is. My former Padawan, Count Dooku was.

Yan Dooku: I am surprised that you are aware of that fact at all Master Kenobi. I assume that Yoda was the one who filled you in?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: It was Madame Nu actually. I was curious about my lineage and didn’t want to put Qui-Gon on the spot asking about something he clearly does not like to talk about.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: She mentioned how alike you and Qui-Gon are in terms of your ideals.

Anakin Skywalker: Master Qui-Gon and Dooku? Alike? Obi-Wan that sounds crazy.

Ahsoka Tano: Are you sure Master? Master Jinn was Dooku’s padawan. And from what I heard around he was also quite a maverick.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ahsoka is correct Anakin.

Anakin Skywalker: Then, why did you not tell me?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I assumed you would have already learnt about him in your classes Anakin. Also, did you not remember learning about Makashi from his recordings?

Anakin Skywalker: I guess I forgot about that. But what about the fact that he is in our lineage?

Yoda: A tense relationship, Qui-Gon and Dooku had. Maintained minimal contact after his Knighting, Qui-Gon did.

Anakin Skywalker: I can only imagine why he does that.

Yan Dooku: I suggest you watch your tongue boy.

Anakin Skywalker: Or what? You’ll cut off my other arm?

Ahsoka Tano: Wait, it was Dooku who cut off your arm?

Yan Dooku: I can guarantee you young Skywalker, that there are worst things that could happen than an amputated arm.

Anakin Skywalker: Right…

Anakin Skywalker: And yes Ahsoka, he is responsible for that.

Ahsoka Tano: Alright then.

Ahsoka Tano: Master Yoda, are we allowed to change our nicknames?

Yoda: Of course Ahsoka. Change your nickname you may.

**[Ahsoka Tano has changed their name to Snips]**

Snips: Come on Skyguy. Change your name!

Anakin Skywalker: Argh!

**[Anakin Skywalker has changed their name to Skyguy]**

Skyguy: Happy now Snips?

Snips: Almost. I would like to enact my right as the youngest member of the lineage and request that everyone in this chat change their nickname.

Snips: If you refuse, I would like to direct you to the document _Rights and responsibilities of each member of the lineage_ by Tali Crana. Specifically, the section that states: _The youngest member of the lineage of the time is allowed to request from the rest of the lineage their nicknames, or in the event that no nicknames already exist, create a new one for them._

Snips: Oh and being a sith lord does not exempt you from this rule.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Brilliant negotiation tactic Ahsoka!

**[Obi-Wan Kenobi has changed their name to Kenobi-Wan]**

**[Yan Dooku has changed their name to The Best Count]**

**[Yoda has changed their name to** **Master Yoda]**

Kenobi-Wan: Master, surely you could do better than that.

The Best Count: I agree.

**[The Best Count changed Master Yoda's name to Old Green Frog]**

Old Green Frog: A frog I am not. Plus, rude that is.

Skyguy: But it’s funny.

Old Green Frog: Know better than to do this, my old Padawan should.

The Best Count: For once I agree with Skywalker. It is funny.

**[Old Green Frog is offline]**

Snips: Did we go too far?

The Best Count: Do not worry youngling. He will turn back up...eventually.

Snips: Okay.

Snips: Hey! I’m not a youngling.

**[The Best Count is offline]**

Snips: Wait, come back!

* * *

**[CT-5555 has created a new chat!]**

**[CT-5555 has added CT-7567, CT-1409, CT-6116, CT-5597, CT-5385 and Ahsoka Tano to the chat]**

**[CT-5555 has named the chat "The chaotic legion"]**

Ahsoka Tano: Umm, why am I here?

CT-5555: Because ur the 501st Commander, uh Commander.

Ahsoka Tano: That does not answer my question.

CT-5597: Can everyone please change their names? All these numbers are really starting to blur right in front of me.

**[CT-5555 has changed their name to Fives]**

**[CT-7567 has changed their name to Rex]**

**[CT-1409 has changed their name to Echo]**

**[CT-6116 has changed their name to Kix]**

**[CT-5597 has changed their name to Jesse]**

**[CT-5385 has changed their name to Tup]**

Kix: Is that better for your eyes Jesse?

Jesse: Yes. Much better.

Ahsoka Tano: So can someone pls answer my question.

Rex: What is the purpose of the creation of this chat trooper?

Fives: First, I got permission from Commander Cody. Second, don’t call me trooper, at least not here. Third, this doubles as a place to relax and gossip about random things.

Tup: You were begging to Cody, not talking _casually_.

Fives: No…I wasn’t!!

Tup: Yes u were.

Fives: No

Tup: Yes

Fives: No

Tup: Yes

Fives: No

Ahsoka Tano: CAN SOMEONE PLS ANSWER MY QUESTION??!!!

Echo: Bc you are our favourite Commander, and we don’t think you should miss out on the fun.

Ahsoka Tano: Finally, someone answered my question. Ty Echo.

**[Ahsoka Tano changed Echo's name to Commander’s favourite!]**

Commander’s favourite: Thx Commander.

Ahsoka Tano: but one more question, why isn’t General Skywalker here?

Jesse: We figure he would prefer to spend his free time fixing droids and he never answers our calls unless it’s an emergency or he answers on the 37th try.

Ahsoka Tano: Makes sense.

Fives: So Rex, what’s is our next campaign gonna be about?

Rex: Not sure. Have not received a briefing yet from command. But there is talk about sending troops to Cato Neimoidia and Muunilinst.

Fives: So, when is it?

Rex: I don’t know. Ask the General.

Fives: But he never answers and he’s not here.

Ahsoka Tano: Helllllo. I’m here u know.

Rex: Then ask the Commander.

Ahsoka Tano: Why am I always being ignored here? U guys know I’m the one here with the highest rank.

Tup: No offense Commander, but do you actually know anything about this?

Ahsoka Tano: But

Ahsoka Tano: I’m a Commander.

Ahsoka Tano: Commanders are supposed to know almost everything.

Rex: In my book, experience outranks everything.

Ahsoka Tano: I know that Rex! You told me like a gazillion times.

Jesse: But it is true!

Ahsoka Tano: You know I’m 16 right?

Rex: Maybe. But for us clones kid, you would have only been the equivalent of 8 in natborn years.

Ahsoka Tano: Echo, do all clones have such annoyingly good arguments?

Commander’s favourite!: Unfortunately yes.

Ahsoka Tano: Ugh.

Jesse: By the way, does anyone know what’s for lunch?

**[Ahsoka Tano is offline]**


	2. A Swearing Yoda And Little Short Ponds

**[Plo Koon has created a new chat!]**

**[Plo Koon has added Yoda, Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Shaak Ti, Kit Fisto, Depa Billaba, Adi Gallia and Aayla Secura to the chat]**

**[Plo Koon has named the chat “Informal High Council Chat”]**

Ki-Adi-Mundi: I assume this chat is not for discussing council business?

Plo Koon: No it is not.

Aayla Secura: Not that I’m not honoured to be included here, but why am I here?

Plo Koon: We have been considering you as a potential replacement in the Council for a while.

Plo Koon: Consider this your trial if you will.

Kit Fisto: So what exactly are we allowed to discuss here?

Plo Koon: Mundane things. Complaints if any about another Jedi, the Senate so on and so forth.

Adi Gallia: Don’t suppose you have a second purpose for this Plo?

Plo Koon: This allows to me to monitor everyone’s welfare more umm…easily.

Shaak Ti: I suppose council meetings do not suffice this purpose?

Plo Koon: No it does not.

Yoda: A reason you have Master Plo, for not inviting Saesee Tiin?

Plo Koon: I have a separate chat with him.

Mace Windu: Of course you do.

Kit Fisto: So, who would like to start us off?

Mace Windu: I would like to.

Ki-Adi-Mundi: Go on then Master Windu.

Mace Windu: Obi-Wan, I have received a complaint from Madame Nu about your former padawan.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: What has he done now?

Mace Windu: Apparently, he had failed to return a data chip on time.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I’ll let him know.

Shaak Ti: What topic was it on?

Mace Windu: On togrutas actually. Probably for Padawan Tano.

Shaak Ti: Obi-Wan, he does know he can just contact me for the information right?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: About that.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Let me check. I’ll be afk.

**[Obi-Wan Kenobi is offline]**

Plo Koon: Umm what does _afk_ mean.

Aayla Secura: You don’t know what _afk_ mean?

Mace Windu: Knight Secura, we are not all so young.

Adi Gallia: How old are you anyways?

Depa Billaba: Wow that’s brave, asking the all mighty Master Windu his age.

Kit Fisto: I agree Depa that’s brave, and seriously how old are you?

Mace Windu: I’m… umm…not saying it.

Ki-Adi Mundi: Oh I know.

Plo Koon: Same

**[Obi-Wan Kenobi is online]**

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Anakin said he’ll bring it. What happen?

Yoda: A little advice I will give…

**[Yoda is typing]**

Obi-Wan Kenobi: …

Mace Windu: …

Plo Koon: …

Ki-Adi Mundi: …

Depa Billaba: …

Aayla Secura: …

Adi Gallia: …

Kit Fisto: …

Shaak Ti: …

Kit Fisto: Ok, how long is this advice?

Shaak Ti: And how long does it take to type?

Mace Windu: Let’s just wait until he finish typing his ‘ _advice_ ’.

Yoda: Look up you should.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Wait! Can I do something Masters, I think you would all like it.

Ki-Adi Mundi: Sure

**[Obi-Wan Kenobi changed Yoda’s name to Slowpoke]**

Plo Koon: Ha. I like that.

Adi Gallia: Same here.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: It took that long to type that! U know what, I’m going… my umm former padawan needs me… bye.

**[Obi-Wan Kenobi is offline]**

Depa Billaba: Well, we lost him.

Kit Fisto: Shit

Slowpoke: Swearing this chat will not have.

Kit Fisto: …

**[Kit Fisto is offline]**

Aayla Secura: Master Yoda, you don’t have to scared them away like that.

Shaak Ti: I agree.

Plo Koon: I would love to stay but my commander is calling me.

Adi Gallia: Commander Wolffe?

Plo Koon: Yup Bye.

**[Plo Koon is offline]**

**[Ki-Adi Mundi is offline]**

Mace Windu: Did Mundi just leave without telling us?

Shaak Ti: I think he is just busy.

Aayla Secura: Yeah.

Aayla Secura: Master Ti are we still doing the _thing._

Shaak Ti: Yes, let’s do it now.

Slowpoke: What are you guys doing?

Depa Billaba: Master Yoda did you just speak normally for the first time.

Slowpoke: Fuck.

Depa Billaba: And you just swore.

Slowpoke: Oh…

**[Slowpoke is offline]**

**[Aayla Secura is offline]**

**[Shaak Ti is offline]**

Depa Billaba: Wow people are just leaving. I should leave too.

Mace Windu: Same

Mace Windu: I’m 57 by the way.

**[Mace Windu is offline]**

Depa Billaba: WHAT THE-

* * *

**[CC-3636 has created a new chat!]**

**[CC-3636 has added CC-1010, CT-411, CC-2224, CC-5052, CC-994, CC-1004 to the chat]**

**[CC-3636 has named the chat “Informal Commanders’ Chat”]**

CC-2224: Let me guess, you got the idea from General Koon?

CC-3636: Yup

CC-3636: Wait

CC-3636: How did u know?

CC-2224: Ummm

CT-411: C’mon Kote, spill.

CC-2224: It’s Cody.

CC-5052: Pls Codes just spill.

CC-2224: My name is Cody, not Codes.

CC-1004: I have to admit I am curious as well.

CC-2224: Damn it Gree, I thought you’re on my side! A least Grey and Fox are on my side.

CC-1004: Srry Cody, but I’m on their side.

CC-1010: Vod’ika just do as they say.

CC-2224: Not u two.

CC-2224: Urgh fine.

CC-2224: But after all of u change your names.

**[CC-2224 has changed their name to Cody]**

**[CC-3636 has changed their name to Wolffe]**

**[CT-411 has changed their name to Ponds]**

**[CC-1010 has changed their name to Fox]**

**[CC-5052 has changed their name to Bly]**

**[CC-994 has changed their name to Grey]**

**[CC-1004 has changed their name to Gree]**

Cody: Ok, promise you won’t say anything bout this k?

Wolffe: K

Ponds: K

Bly: Ok

Grey: K

Gree: Sure

Fox: Whatever

Cody: I may have overheard this from a bunch of Jedi?

Ponds: Which Jedi?

Cody: I’m not saying.

Bly: Pls

Gree: Fine, we’ll ask u later.

Cody: Yeah, anyways...

Fox: Why was Ponds a CT?

Grey: Idk. Ask him.

Wolffe: I believe it is due to a mix up. Right Ponds?

Ponds: Yep.

Ponds: I think it’s either the Kaminiise thought I was a CT bc I was too short, or I got lost in one of the training simulations when I was a cadet and maybe they forget I was supposed a CC. I think.

Cody: Lmao, Ponds as a short cadet.

Grey: lol

Ponds: I WAS A CADET OK!

Fox: I’m still laughing.

Ponds: I was a cadet. That was then…not now.

Cody: Can everyone here pls say ‘Little Short Ponds’.

Ponds: Please don’t.

Fox: Little Short Ponds.

Grey: Little Short Ponds.

Wolffe: Little Short Ponds.

Cody: Little Short Ponds.

Bly: Little Short Ponds.

Gree: Little Short Ponds.

**[Cody changed Ponds’ name to Little Short Ponds]**

Woffle: This is amazing.

Little Short Ponds: Come on why did I even tell you guys in the first place.

Bly: Idk, maybe bc ur umm

Little Short Ponds: What…

Bly: I better not say it.

Fox: Oh I know what ur trying to say.

Little Short Ponds: What is it!

Fox: He means…umm…actually I don’t want to say it.

Fox: Does anyone know and can say it.

Gree: I know

Grey: Same.

Little Short Ponds: Then can someone say it.

Grey: Umm it… Gree, can you pls say it.

Gree: No, I don’t wanna die. Well, not like this.

Little Short Ponds: CAN SOMEONE JUST SAY IT NOW!

Bly: Vod’ika pls do it.

Cody: Fine.

Cody: Please don’t kill me.

Cody: Ponds… they are saying that ur …umm

Cody: …a di’kut 

Little Short Ponds: …

Little Short Ponds: What!

Gree: Oh no.

Little Short Ponds: I’m coming after you Cody!

Cody: What! I just said the word it was Bly, he wanted me to say it.

Little Short Ponds: Idc. I’m still coming after you.

Wolffe: Cody. . .

Wolffe: Run.

**[Cody is offline]**

**[Ponds is offline]**

Bly: Phew. I thought he was going to go after me.

Fox: Bly..

Grey: If I was you…

Gree: I’d probably. . .

Little Short Ponds: Run

Bly: Oh no.

**[Bly is offline]**

Fox: I think I just saw him run.

Wolffe: That’s what I was about to say.

Gree: So, its just us four now.

Grey: Yeah…

Fox: so….

Gree: Ye I don’t know.

Wolffe: I’ve never realised how quiet and boring it is when just three of the commanders are gone.

Fox: Same.

Fox: Hmm, I have some reports due soon. Signing off.

**[Fox is offline]**

Grey: You all want to grab a drink at 79’s?

Gree: Sure

Wolffe: Why not.

Grey: Alright. Meet you all there in 3 standard hours.

Wolffe: Yes Sir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kote: assumed to be Cody's original name (excluding their designation)  
> Vod'ika: little sibling (in this case, brother)  
> Kaminiise: Kaminoans  
> Di'kut: idiot

**Author's Note:**

> Hope u like it.


End file.
